Sunday, October 12, 2014

What is Thanksgiving all about?

The good news about networking technology is we have instantaneous access to information 24/7. While this helps us find the info we seek. It also brings a lot of info we don't seek and that info that arrives in our inbox, our FB or Twitter feed, our favourite news wesbsite is almost always the info we completely disagree with. Hence an internet battle is born!

With Thanksgiving in North America happening over the next month the Thanksgiving debate re-emerges. One end of the debate thanks Columbus and the pilgrims for discovering America for Spain and settling it into the civil utopia they believe it to be.(who are pilgrims? how do they link to Thanksgiving? do a search and you can read more) The other end of the debate thinks thanking Columbus for invading an already inhabited territory and conquering/destroying an existing culture is a myopic view of history. It's also viewed as insensitive to the ancestors of indigenous people who Columbus and the following waves of europeans invaded.

So here I am, since I can remember my family has celebrated Thanksgiving. Not because we're happy North America was conquered and colonized, but because it's one of those very rare times that you can slow down, and get together with friends and family and reflect a bit. However, I grew up in Millwoods and the other side of the argument isn't lost on me.

What does Millwoods have to do with Thanksgiving you ask? Well, for me, it has a lot to do with it.

Millwoods was a suburb of Edmonton, Alberta that was designed and developed in the 1970s. In concept, it was to be a neighbourhood that was a city within a city. It walked away from the grid style designs of other neighbourhoods and incorporated an element of social planning that would cross socio-economic boundaries. No longer would there be a "wealthy only" neighbourhood and a "poor only". No longer would neighbourhoods be "little italy" or "china town". The neighbourhood would be a homogenous mix of every and any lifestyle you could think of that would lead to better understanding and tolerance of the factors that divide us.

I moved to Millwoods when I was in grade 1 and grew up there, almost entirely, until I was well out of High School. I am the now loathed "White, Hetero, Oilfield working, Christian, male", but at the time I had no sense of identity other than I was a boy and I was Canadian. Looking back I can honestly say that while Millwoods may have not achieved the idealistic dream of it's designers and champions it did succeed and I give thanks for my time there. It helped my vocabulary and my understanding of a lot of things that are now mainstream in this world.

While I did grow up learning to celebrate thanksgiving and learning what it was about I also learned a great deal more. I learned that many of my school mates were "refugees" (I had no idea what that meant in elementary). I learned that many of my school mates were not born in Canada. Many of them spoke other languages. While all of us were "catholic" since we went to catholic school our values were slightly different. The concept of family was different, the concept of honour was different, conflict resolution was different.

My first friend in Millwoods was MW. He was one of my neighbours on the street. He was white, had an older brother and a Mom and a Dad just like me. However, I noticed that he always called his Dad by his first name. After a few grade 1 type questions to my Mom and Dad I quickly learned that MW's Dad was a "step dad" and that his Mom was "divorced" and to be honest... it didn't make a damned difference. MW was still MW and life went on.

Other friends on the street were MO, DW, CW, LB, PF. They were a true homogenous mix that was representative of Millwoods. Most were "white". However, one family was a "interracial" family. They're Dad was black (from the Carribean). Another family was Chinese who had "immigrated" to Canada and yet another family claimed to have "strong Irish roots".... but in reality they were Canadian, born and raised.

My first friend in school was JB. JB was an only child. This was different for me, didn't all families have multiple siblings??? Not only was JB an only child he only had one parent, his Mom. Once again, I learned about "divorce" but also learned that not everyone automatically gets a "step dad" when their parents divorce. I also made a few more friends in elementary school.

There was JF. JF was from Peru. He had 2 siblings and a Mom and Dad. Hanging out at his house indicated they were far more devout to the catholic faith than I was. There was also AS. AS lived just down the block from JF so the 3 of us hung out quite a bit. AS was from South Africa. He was white and had that funny South African accent that wasn't British and wasn't australian. AS had many stories about "apartheid" and what it was like from his viewpoint and how his family didn't want to be part of it any more. Then there was MS. MS was from Chile. He had a LOT of brothers. Through MS I met a lot more people from school and Millwoods that were Chilean and I got to learn about "regimes" and "military coups" and "corrupt governments". Chile really didn't seem like a place you wanted to be, but apparently it's extremely beautiful!

But this wasn't it. Most people label Millwoods with "one race". It's filled with "asians" or "pakistanis" or "Indians" or "Lebanese" or "philipinos" but the truth is Millwoods is just filled... with everyone!!! I had friends that came emigrated from Poland, Ukraine, Chile, Equador, Columbia, Costa Rica, Viet Nam, the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, South African, India, Sri Lanka, and some even came from  away mystical lands like Toronto and Newfoundland!

Each and every friend I met had something new to share. A story of their culture, their language, their values, their "homeland" their struggle. I learned about civil wars from a perspective that no Social Studies class could explain. I learned about the differences of Ukranian Catholicism and Roman Catholicism... not from Religion class but from hanging out with my Ukranian Catholic friends. I learned about Buddhism, I learned about bannock (oh my goodness how I love Bannock!!!). I learned how to swear in about 5 or 6 different languages (I'm sure that'll come in handy some day). I learned about the tight knit Philipino community and their very broad sense of family. I learned about Shiva and Kali and I learned about "arranged marriages" (from more than the stereotypical definition of it). I learned about cricket! (but I still don't understand it!!). Later on I learned about "homosexuality" and understanding what a horror it was (and probably still is for some) to grow up not being able to identify yourself amongst friends and peers for fear of being alienated or persecuted.

I also quickly learned about "haves" and "have nots". When you're 8 years old you don't notice if someone is wearing a "polo" or "esprit" shirt and you don't notice "nike", "converse" or "adidas" shoes, but you do notice who has money when you're at the corner store at lunch and you do notice those who got those "cool" gifts for Xmas and who got socks and underwear. However, that never seemed to get in the way. I remember my Mom and Dad explaining to me that it's alright to share, but be careful about being "patronizing". Just because someone does not have what you have, does not mean they want it, or need it.

20+ year later I look back. I no longer live in Millwoods. I have seen the news headlines about drive by shootings. I've talked to friends that still live there that talk about some of the racial segregation/isolation that has happened. I do not think Millwoods has achieved Utopia, but I still think it's one of the best places to grow up to get some perspective.

If it wasn't for Millwoods I wouldn't be able to enter some of the conversations I do with tact. If it wasn't for Millwoods I wouldn't understand religious "dress" and what they mean to people. If it wasn't for Millwoods I wouldn't be able to talk to someone with empathy about oppression, prejudice, murder, illness or poverty. If it wasn't for Millwoods I just wouldn't be who I am today.

So what is Thanksgiving all about? For me it's about giving thanks. I shed the history of the day, but I also remember that it isn't all roses.